18 months

 So much has happened.  

The allergy thing became A HUGE THING requiring a week in the hospital, 4 days intubated.  Scary stuff for everyone.  The lypmphodema became open wounds. Oh whoa is me........

That was summer of 2023. Travel plans were canceled.  Life revolved around doctor appointments.  Fast forward to fall 2024.  The cancer seems to be stable, but the leg wounds are actually getting worse. A by product of the chemo drug. Doctors agree to pause the chemo to allow the leg to heal. That worked. 90% successful.  HOWEVER, here we are February 2025, the cancer has spread. First found on the inside of upper eyelid. OK. Can you guess where I'm going? It's on my brain and scalp, front and back. Oh, and let's not forget the lymph node, front right groin. 

We did manage our Christmas trips this year. A week in Iowa and a week on the west coast. It was nice to see the kids, especially the little ones. We even managed a trip back to Iowa for a wedding over Valentine's weekend. We booked a week in Hawaii over our anniversary,  I just hope we get to go. 

My mind is all over the place. What if.?.....how should.?..so many things left on the bucket list i Didn't know I had. Was I a good enough person? 

I'll definitely win the most fabric award, but who's going to want it? 

What about being the association treasurer? I need to tell them. Can it wait until fall?

The past few weeks have been oncology,  opthalmology,  eye surgery,  orbital socket x-ray, CT and MRI, MRI of the brain, oh and we're scheduled for a visit with a neuro surgeon and an oncology radiologist The regular oncology appointment is in 2 weeks. Right now my wish is that those doctors will have a plan ready that I can live with. 

Yes, I mean that literally!

My sister says I'm brave and she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Am I brave or delusional?  I Don't  know. I always thought I had another 20 to 30 years. Grandma was almost 103 years old when she passed, but Mom was only 72 and I'm 71.

Well, I  believe I've dumped enough tonight. If anyone is reading this, you can expect more sooner rather than later this time.

Bye for now.

And here we are again

 A lot has happened in the last 2 years.

The highlights: Sold the house in Iowa and moved to Missouri, a grandchild decided to use the pronouns Them and They, lymphedema in legs, oldest daughter went back to school to get her Masters in Marriage and Family Counseling. and Cancer is back this time in my lungs. 

From this

to this

It doesn't look like much here, but after all the work we had done........  The biggest differences: all 1 level and property taxes cut by almost 80%.  The hard part, downsizing from 5 garage spaces to 2, 3 full baths to 2, 3 large bedrooms to 2 regular sized, my sewing room shrunk, but the dining room GREW! We had the outside power washed, new floors installed, kitchen and bathroom cabinets refaced, new sinks and counter tops, brick fireplace updated, moved previous owners great room cabinets into the hall bath for more storage and counter space, new windows are going on the big sunroom that became the dining room, creating all new window treatments, major redo of the master bath shower, considering installing a gas fireplace in the great room, the roof and foundation had to be repaired and of course all new paint.  Oh, and the trees have been trimmed. All of that was exciting, but right in the middle the doctor surprised us and said,  "It's back, but has moved into your lungs." 

It's been about a year since the diagnosis.  It hasn't been easy. Lymphedema, allergic reactions, both the scary kind and just annoying stuff, treatments every month and the darn stuff kept on growing.  However, with the move comes new doctors and a chance to try something new. A new plan, more excitement. Not really sure how much more excitement I can handle.  The plan is to let you know in a couple of weeks.  We're going to continue with the immunotherapy that I can tolerate and add a daily chemo pill.

And the World went Crazy!

 It's been a year since Iowa shut down due to Covid-19.  DH and I have gotten part 1 of THE VACCINATION and part 2 is scheduled.

So many things have changed.  

I haven't hugged my children or 4 of my grandchildren since Christmas 2019.  

Church services were online only, then in the parking lot with social distancing. We actually had a couple of services in the sanctuary, but then the numbers bonkers again and we were back to online only. Currently, people are getting the vaccination, the weather is improving and so are the numbers.  So, we have a choice; online or in the church with social distancing and masks.  1 day and step at a time.........

More than 1 trip has been cancelled or postponed, however 2 new ones have been scheduled.

There was a US Presidential Election and just like every election, not everyone is happy.  All I want to say about that is this: Please remember, this too shall pass.  Presidents aren't forever, but your family, your friends, the people you go to church with, your neighbors, they all might be, so take a breath. Please.

I made my first "real" quilt and gifted it to a granddaughter.  I call it the Sunshine Quilt.  It is based on that old song, "You are my Sunshine." I had to use a lot of black because, for some reason, she currently doesn't seem to like bright colors.  So, I backed it with a black fabric with white script lettering of positive affirmations. She seems to like it.  I hope so. 

                                                                               

 I've started the next one.  It will be a gift for my daughter and SIL.  I'll have to try and post pictures of that one later on.  It is driving me a bit crazy and cross eyed.  It's suppose to be an optical illusion of sorts. I'm calling it Shades of Gray.  You'll understand when you see it. Oh what the heck, here's a tease

What else?

Coldest week of this winter, we had a water line break.  Thankfully, it was downstairs, so no carpet or floor damage. However, there's plenty of drywall to be replaced. Water stains to be sealed and painted. There was also the furnace that water was running into and shorting out circuit boards. The water line and the furnace we fixed right away.  The rest, we're still waiting for a contractor.  We've tried to sweeten the deal by adding on some bigger projects, but they all seem so busy and not very interested in our little job.  

Oh well, I need a better attitude! Let's see if I can't improve on this mood. Spring is just around the corner.  Should be able to get outside more.  Here's hoping! 🙏

It's been a tough year already!

It's the beginning of October 2019 and I am scheduled for surgery in less than a week.  Nothing fun, it seems I have a mass on one of my kidneys.

This will be the 2nd surgery this year.  I fell in March and tore my right rotatory cuff. As my doctor put it, a quality of life issue.  I couldn't get that arm behind me to hook my bra.  I still can't, but the physical therapy seems to be helping, so it will come.

For whatever reason, this one is scarier. Probably because the "C" word has been used.  I am trying to maintain a good and positive attitude, but it's hard.  My rational self says, "Hey, we've got this and even if they have to remove that kidney, I've got another one!" Then my vulnerable side peeks out and says,"I'm scared." 

I have spent so many years being the strong one, I don't know how to be this way.  My daughters either don't see it or don't want to believe it's possible.  My husband, well, what can I say.  He was the vulnerable one a couple of years ago and now, I'm not sure he knows how or wants to be the strong one.

So, in conclusion, I'm going to paraphrase a quote I've been seeing on Facebook. "Some days, I just want someone to hug me and tell me it's going to be alright."

And before you ask, yes, I know God is in my corner and I will be praying right up until the time I go under and then again the minute I wake up, but I need you to do that part for me while I'm out.  Okay?  Thanks.